It’s LIFE…

Pathless. Meaningless. Lifeless. These words best describe what my life was like before I came to know Jesus Christ.

I was pathless, having no definite way to go. I was like a sheep lost in the wilderness without a shepherd. I chose different ways to achieve my desires in life, yet they all led me to frustration and unhappiness.

And everything was meaningless. I often ask questions like, “Why am I here?” “What is there to look forward to with each passing day?” “Is there an end to all these?” All along, I was just wasting my time and effort with the things that this world can offer, things that can temporarily fill my emptiness. I felt like there was no contentment in my life. My life was empty even when I almost have everything I needed. Still, there was something missing in my life.

I was living almost lifeless. Living was then a routine; I got up and lived like I would. I acted in rebellion against God with constant sinning without confession. I always think I know better. In fact, nobody was controlling me. I was the captain of my life, a life that was full of frustrations and disappointments. It can be dubbed as the frustrating life of self effort. It was indeed a dead life.

I didn’t know how everything came into place. It just happened one Friday afternoon during my first year in college. I was then conducting an interview with Ate Jeng, a CCC staff, when she shared with me this yellow booklet entitled, The Four Spiritual Laws. I eventually received Christ into my life that night. It was a complete bliss knowing that God loves me and has a wonderful plan for my life despite my inconsistencies and stubbornness. Being in my first year in college, and away from my comfort zone, life was a bit complicated. However, knowing God’s truth gave me a security–an eternal security that the world can never offer.

I became a Christian on September 23, 2005—the mark of my personal relationship with Christ, my Savior and Lord.

From a pathless, meaningless, lifeless life, I found the right path, real meaning, and eternal life from Jesus Christ, who is my Savior, deliverer, and best friend. He is that one thing missing in my life before. It’s only by surrendering my life to Him that waking up each day becomes meaningful. And now that He’s near and here, everything is different in a good way. I find peace and joy in His presence. “Everything is different; everything’s so different, Lord. I know I am not the same,” as the song goes. He changed my whole life. Having a personal relationship with Him is the best decision I ever made. This is why I also want others to know who this loving Savior is in my life that can change theirs forever.

>>>This is the lyrics of One Step at a Time

performed by AI 6 winner, Jordin Sparks.

>>>I love this song and its message...

>>>Again, I am reminded to wait...

>>> I highlighted the song lyrics thatministered to me...

Hurry up and wait

So close, but so far away

Everything that you always dreamed of

Close enough for you to taste

But you just can't touch

Refrain:You wanna show the world 

but no one knows yours name yet

Wonderin' when, where and how you're going to make it

You know you can if you get the chance

In your face and the door keeps slamming

Now you're feeling more and more frustrated

And you getting all kinda impatientWaiting, 

we live and we learn

CHORUS:To take one step at a time

There's no need to rushI

t's like learning to fly, or falling in love

It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen

And we find the reasons why

One step at a time

You believe, and you doubt

You're confused, and got it all figured out

Everything that you always wished for

Could be yours, should be yours, 

would be yoursIf they only knew

Repeat Refrain and Chorus

Bridge:When you can't wait any longer

you can't wait)

But there's no end in time 

(when you need to find the strength

)It's your faith that makes you stronger 

(the only way we get there)

The only way we get thereIs one step at a time

>>>somehow, this SECULAR song ministered to me...

 I have loved this song since Jordin performed it

 on the AI 7 Grand Finale night... :D..

What's the relation of the song to my feelings?

Oh well.. It's hard to deny it...Yeah... I want to fall in love...

There is this romantic longing,

 which I know is present in every individual,

that I'm trying to repress...Mind you,

I don't have any romantic feeling about someone... haha..

.But I feel like wanting to have one...

like I want to force myself to be in love...

But my mind said  "NO."

And I asked "why?"

"Because feelings are in constant flux,

and you're not yet ready...

Enjoy your being young and single...

Just wait... Wait..

Remember, the best things in life are worth-waiting for.

Isn't true love one of them?"

Right... :DI should wait....

Soon, I'll find the reasons why it takes time to waitfor the right time...:D

NOTE: this is also posted on my multiply. http://ayayee2006.multiply.com/

TO:
-Gretel
-Nadine
-Aira
-Ana
-Franz
-Glaysa
-Nikki
-Lloyd
-Mhay
-JM
-Paul
I’m gonna miss you guys… I’m gonna miss the reporters and anchors…cameramen, drivers, TOC crew, staff, and everyone else who made our internship extra special…
I’m gonna miss every bit of our internship…
One team, one summer… one team, one summer… team kapamilya tayo…yeah yeah yeah

var curDiv = document.getElementById(’ln0′);
curDiv.innerHTML = convert2url(curDiv.innerHTML);
var links = curDiv.getElementsByTagName(’a');
for(var i = links.length; i >= 0; –i) {
if(links[i]) links[i].innerHTML = links[i].innerHTML.substr(0,30) + “…”;
}

var curDiv = document.getElementById(’ln1′);
curDiv.innerHTML = convert2url(curDiv.innerHTML);
var links = curDiv.getElementsByTagName(’a');
for(var i = links.length; i >= 0; –i) {
if(links[i]) links[i].innerHTML = links[i].innerHTML.substr(0,30) + “…”;
}

var curDiv = document.getElementById(’ln2′);
curDiv.innerHTML = convert2url(curDiv.innerHTML);
var links = curDiv.getElementsByTagName(’a');
for(var i = links.length; i >= 0; –i) {
if(links[i]) links[i].innerHTML = links[i].innerHTML.substr(0,30) + “…”;
}

var curDiv = document.getElementById(’ln3′);
curDiv.innerHTML = convert2url(curDiv.innerHTML);
var links = curDiv.getElementsByTagName(’a');
for(var i = links.length; i >= 0; –i) {
if(links[i]) links[i].innerHTML = links[i].innerHTML.substr(0,30) + “…”;
}

var curDiv = document.getElementById(’ln4′);
curDiv.innerHTML = convert2url(curDiv.innerHTML);
var links = curDiv.getElementsByTagName(’a');
for(var i = links.length; i >= 0; –i) {
if(links[i]) links[i].innerHTML = links[i].innerHTML.substr(0,30) + “…”;
}

var curDiv = document.getElementById(’ln5′);
curDiv.innerHTML = convert2url(curDiv.innerHTML);
var links = curDiv.getElementsByTagName(’a');
for(var i = links.length; i >= 0; –i) {
if(links[i]) links[i].innerHTML = links[i].innerHTML.substr(0,30) + “…”;
}

var curDiv = document.getElementById(’ln6′);
curDiv.innerHTML = convert2url(curDiv.innerHTML);
var links = curDiv.getElementsByTagName(’a');
for(var i = links.length; i >= 0; –i) {
if(links[i]) links[i].innerHTML = links[i].innerHTML.substr(0,30) + “…”;
}

var curDiv = document.getElementById(’ln7′);
curDiv.innerHTML = convert2url(curDiv.innerHTML);
var links = curDiv.getElementsByTagName(’a');
for(var i = links.length; i >= 0; –i) {
if(links[i]) links[i].innerHTML = links[i].innerHTML.substr(0,30) + “…”;
}

var curDiv = document.getElementById(’ln8′);
curDiv.innerHTML = convert2url(curDiv.innerHTML);
var links = curDiv.getElementsByTagName(’a');
for(var i = links.length; i >= 0; –i) {
if(links[i]) links[i].innerHTML = links[i].innerHTML.substr(0,30) + “…”;
}

var curDiv = document.getElementById(’ln9′);
curDiv.innerHTML = convert2url(curDiv.innerHTML);
var links = curDiv.getElementsByTagName(’a');
for(var i = links.length; i >= 0; –i) {
if(links[i]) links[i].innerHTML = links[i].innerHTML.substr(0,30) + “…”;
}

>>this poem was given to kuya dux, my nice big bro, from someone 6 1/2 years ago… He said this poem made him cry… I believe there is apersonal background why…

oh… I totally love this korean drama series… i finished watching this drama two weeks ago.. and i’m still in love with it…it’s quite an age-old story given a different twist… i still have the hang of it…

i love the actors… so pretty ANA.. so handsome JEREMY! yeah, perfect tandem…

…i’ll write more about it soon…

>>>natuwa ako sa mga poems na ito, not because i’m nursing a broken heart…haha.. i feel for someone brokenhearted na very close to me.. my aim is not to wound her more but to let her know love is love–acceptance, giving, pondering, difficult and complicated…

hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Alfred Tennyson - 1850

THE CRASHING WAVE

© By Leanne M. Spencer

SHE WALKS DOWN AN ENDLESS PATH
BEFORE THE DAWN HAS KISSED THE DAY
TO THE WATERS’ EDGE SHE MOVES IN HASTE
KNOWING SHE’LL NEVER FIND HER WAY
HIS CRIES OF LOVE SHE HEARS IN VAIN
CRASHING UPON EACH EMERALD WAVE
WITH EVERY STEP HER HEART BEATS FASTER
KNOWING IT’S HER SOUL SHE GAVE
TO THE ENDLESS PATH, THE CRASHING WAVE, AND THE LOVER’S LIFE SHE COULD NOT SAVE

The Game Of Love

© By Wilma Trip

What we thought was love and happiness? Is now gone all that’s left is to move on. Say goodbye and walk away. Take your wounded pride put it aside. The game of love you have lost. Your broken heart is the cost. Count your blessings and pray. maybe You will win at the game of love one day. Just learn when to walk away. Your strong enough to say good bye. Don’t hold back it’s okay to cry love hurts sometimes

The Unknown

© By Ashley Schaefer

She sits at her desk watching her crush
Watching him laugh, sing, the way he says her name

Making her smile as well just from hearing him
Wanting more than friendship

But knowning she can’t have him
He loves another…another friend of theirs

Letting her heart break and mend again
She watches on being the unknown

All the things she feels for her crush
He may never know how she feels

Not wanting to ruin the friendship they have
So she sits an is silent saying not a word

For she is the unknown

Behind

© By Brianna K. Butenhoff

Behind my eyes I softly cry holding this pain so close inside
behind my smile I slowly frown as my tears come rushing down
a feeling inside I tried to hide suppressed by my deepest fears
and I still feel the pain after all of these years
Think of what you put me through the tears I cried
and feelings that would not subside
I trusted you to no end but you betrayed me even as a friend
though I still love you and probably always will
I blame you for my heart ache and the reason my tears fell
I forgive you for the bruises on my heart
and my whole world just falling apart
but I love you for showing me the meaning in each day
and the truth behind the pain
you were truly a blessing and the reason my heart sang

…ayan…

DON’T WORRY WHEN SOMEONE HURT YOU NOW… THAT PERSON WON’T KEEP HURTING YOU STILL.. TRUST ME.

GOD WILL GIVE YOU SOMEONE BETTER, WHEN THAT PERSON COMES…YOU’LL SEE YOUR REAL WORTH!

(parang love adviser ang drama koh..haha..)

http://www.poetryamerica.com/read_poems.asp?id=323217&start=3

Title: Para Sa Akin
Artist: Sitti 

Kung ika’y magiging akin
Di ka na muling luluha pa
Pangakong di ka lolokohin
Ng puso kong nagmamahal

Kung ako ay papalarin
Na ako’y iyong mahal na rin
Pangakong ikaw lang ang iibigin
Magpakailanman

[chorus]
Di kita pipilitin
Sundin mo pang iyong damdamin
Hayaan nalang tumibok ang puso mo
Para sa akin

Kung ako ay mamalasin
At mayron ka nang ibang mahal
Ngunit patuloy ang aking pagibig
Magpakailanman

[repeat chorus]

Kung ako ay papalarin
Na ako’y iyong mahal na rin
Pangakong ikaw lang ang iibigin
Magpakailanman

[repeat chorus 2x]

Para sa akin…

>>i really love this song… the music and the singer.. it has been turning my head for the past weeks.. sitti’s voice is totally different–it’s quite enchanting… i just love it…

Kakauwi ko lang dito sa baba–Lingayen–noong Biyernes, March 30, 2007. Mga 8:30 pm na ako nakarating nang sinalubong ako ng isang malikot na aso–c Jackie, isang Japanese Pitch na galing sa kaibigang Hapon ng mga magulang ko..

Napakabait niya.. di nga ako tinatahulan… Akalain mong lalake pala siya. His name was taken from the Jackie Chan nga pala.. hehe..

Maputi at Mabalihibong aso.. actually, my pusa kami–hehe, c Scien (with light blue and olive green eyes) na kasing puti niya.. Ang sarap nyang hawakan… Ang gulo gulo kasi…

Kahapon, April 4, nawala na siya… namatay siya… Napabayaan kasi namin siyang lumabas at ayon, naglaro… sabi nila, pumatay daw siya ng daga.. nagulat kami.. ayon, kinulong ni papa..

sa mga nagdaang araw bago ang nakatakdang nyang pamamaalam, batid namin ang pagtamlay ng minsang maharot na aso…

hanggang sa, nakita na lang naming nagsusuka siya ng dugo at ayon, namatay na rin…

limang araw ko lang nakasama si Jackie, at naiinis ako dahil kahit litrato wala akong naitago…

Nalulungkot man ako dahil parang mabilis ang mga pangyayari…

ngunit ako’y nasisiyahan narin dahil ngayo’y namamahinga na siya…

Alam kong mahal ng Diyos ang lahat ng kanyang nilikha…

Siguradong payapa na siyang kasama ng Ating Ama..

It was February 17, 2007 when my phone (just a simple 3100, I have nothing to brag) got lost at our house. Actually, my room mate also lost hers at the same time… Oh, how unlucky of us!

It didn’t stop there.. On the 20th day of March the same year, I lost another one–N3120.. Where? At school–UP Baguio.. oh, this time, I cried… It was my mom’s phone.. They should have bought me another one if … if… ___________ huhu…

Nah, too untimely… this is life..

But people around me comforted me and then again I realized, "THIS TOO, SHALL PASS."

— SMILE —